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The Riptide – Flash Fiction


Devin loved swimming. A powerful attraction drew her to the ocean which she couldn’t resist. The sea had become her companion and like a jealous lover demanded all her time.

The riptide struck and sucked her into the depths. The waves rolling above pulled one way, while the rip current below, pulled her in the opposite direction. Devin kicked hard, finally breaking free.

This had been her longest swim. Now, she knew for a fact, the experimental drugs had caused her lungs to grow. She could spend hours underwater without added oxygen. Her fate as a mermaid was sealed.


Image credit: Pixabay.com

I’ve written this piece of flash fiction for the writing challenge at Carrotranch.com. Here is the September 14, 2017, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about a riptide. How can it be used to move a story? It could be a stretch of turbulent water or a pull of another kind. Go where the prompt leads even if you find it unexpected.

Respond by September 19, 2017, to be included in the compilation (published September 20). Rules are here. All writers are welcome!

Thanks for stopping by! <3


About Colleen M. Chesebro

Colleen M. Chesebro is an American Novelist & Poet who loves writing paranormal fantasy and magical realism, cross-genre fiction, syllabic poetry, and creative nonfiction. She loves all things magical which may mean that she could be experiencing her second childhood—or not. That part of her life hasn’t been fully decided yet. A few years ago, a mystical experience led her to renew her passion for writing and storytelling. These days she resides in the fantasy realm of the Faery Writer where she writes the magical poetry and stories that the fairy nymphs whisper to her in her dreams. Colleen won the “Little and Laugh” Flash Fiction Contest sponsored by the Carrot Ranch Literary Community on November 2017, and in 2018, she won first place for the “Twisted Travel” category. Colleen lives in Arizona with her husband. When she is not writing, Colleen enjoys spending time with her husband. She also loves gardening, reading, and crocheting old-fashioned doilies into works of art. Learn more about Colleen on colleenchesebro.com.
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64 Comments

  1. Great story and wow on the challenge of exactly 99 words.

    /thumbs up

  2. Great read! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Wow! I loved this, Colleen. The ending caught me off guard. Love and hugs.

  4. I love this, Colleen. A great ending.

  5. I’m pleased you joined in Colleen. Oh, for life as a mermaid. We’d be all at sea.

  6. Love this, Colleen. xxx

  7. Pingback: Writing Links…9/18/17 – Where Genres Collide

  8. Love this Didn’t see that end coming! Great twist!

  9. Beautiful nugget of a story, Colleen.

  10. Fantastic and Fantastical!

  11. Well done, Colleen, I love how you turned Devin into a mermaid 🙂

  12. Great job, Colleen–especially for you first try at flash fiction!

    Lots of riptides about now–maybe mermaids, too. 😉

  13. Wow, what a great idea to turn into a mermaid… and not the other way around!

  14. You definitely have a way with words, I wanted to be in that water !

  15. Drew me in… held me there. Keep it coming!

  16. absolutely beautiful 💜

  17. Excellent response to this word Colleen….enjoyed your take on it.

  18. Wow this is terrific Colleen, great piece if flash. 🙂

  19. You edit down quite well, Colleen…this was a great story. And once again, left me longing for the ocean. I need to get to the shore !

  20. Fabulous story, Colleen – so much told in so few words.

  21. I love this, Colleen. It gave me goosebumps. <3 Do I see mermaids in your future author-pate as well as fairies? Hugs on the wing!

    • LOL! This was my first try at flash fiction. Actually, I’m writing a book with Wendy Anne Darling – short stories and poetry called: Fairies, Myths, and Magic. I have all kinds of magical things up my sleeve. I’m glad you liked it. Hugs on the wing. <3

  22. Love this! So concise, yet telling a complete story 🙂

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