“Green Faeries,” Speculative Fiction Challenge

Hugo swung his legs to the floor and sat up. What a night! The party lasted into the wee hours and by the time he’d stumbled home; he passed out on the couch, never making it into his bed. His head ached, and thirst clogged his throat.

He belched. The stench of alcohol and the pong of a dirty ashtray perfumed the air. He fumbled for his cigarettes, rifling through his pockets, on the hunt for his lighter. He retrieved a pack from his shirt pocket and found it empty. His anger erupted. He balled up the packet and threw it across the room.

“Hey, quit throwing stuff at me!”

“What?” Hugo’s bleary eyes tried to focus, but he couldn’t see straight.

He staggered toward the open window and gasped. Like an old-timey movie reel, grainy images flickered on a silver screen. After his bloodshot eyes cleared, he observed what looked to be his house, precariously perched in the crook of a massive tree. A glaring of cats roamed across the roof, and an elephant stared him in the face.

“Yeah, I’m talking to you.”

With eyes the size of saucers, Hugo shook his head. “Elephants don’t talk,” he wheezed out.

“Well, this one does. I’m your conscious. Wikipedia says:

“Conscience is an aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgment that assists in distinguishing right from wrong. Moral judgment may derive from values or norms. In psychological terms conscience is often described as leading to feelings of remorse when a human commits actions that go against his/her moral values and to feelings of rectitude or integrity when actions conform to such norms.”

Wikipedia

“Did you just define my conscious?” Hugo ran his hands nervously through his hair.

“Sure. How many did you have last night? Do you feel any remorse?”

“Too many to count. And, no, I don’t feel any guilt at my having had a good time. Now, leave me alone!”

“I bet you drank “Green Faeries,” again last night,” said the elephant. A grin stretched across his face.

Hugo closed his eyes and swayed in place. Damn absinthe! No wonder I can’t focus.

“Now do you feel guilty?” The elephant extended his long trunk toward the window. He nosed Hugo’s shoulder.

Hugo raised his shaking hand to his damp forehead. His heartbeat raced, and he shivered as if the heat of the day chilled him to the bone.

“What have you done with my house? What’s the deal with the cats?” asked Hugo.

The elephant’s nasal voice dissolved into laughter. “It’s the delirium tremors, my friend. Stick around, we’ve got a big show planned for you.”

***

This story was created from two sources. One, D. Wallace Peach’s monthly writing challenge, and two; this post from The Dark Netizen. I laughed the entire time I wrote this story. Thanks for the inspiration, you guys! 😀

Don’t drink them!
Learn more about the Green Faery HERE.

Rosie

This post is in response to The Daily Post’s, “You Robot,” at http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/you-robot/.  The instructions are:  Congrats — you’ve been handed a robot whose sole job is to relieve you of one chore, job, or responsibility you particularly hate. What is it?

rosie

(“Rosie,” image courtesy of ufiojones.wordpress.com/2011/03/24/cartoon-black-history-rosie/)

I sat at my desk clicking my pen back and forth, as I pondered what my next post would be for my blog, Silver Threading.  Occasionally, I added another item to the shopping list that I was also working on.  It had been a long weekend.  Chores dominated my days and they were beginning to interfere with my writing.  I had been complaining to my husband that I needed a magic fairy to come over daily to complete all these mundane tasks that I just did not want to do.  My husband just smiled and went back out into the garage where he had been tinkering on a project for days now.

Suddenly, he came into my creative room where I do all my writing with a huge grin on his face.  He said he had a surprise for me.  That usually meant that I would get some tasty tidbit he had prepared for his lunch.  He always shared with me.  The man is a God is all I can say.

Today, he pushed a small robot into the room and stood with his hands on his hips.  “Well, what do you think?” he asked.  I turned in my chair and there before me was the cutest robot maid I had ever seen.  Covered in shiny metal, she sported a starched white apron with a matching white maid’s cap perched on her shiny head.  She moved with wheels that seemed to glide across the floor.  So this was what he had been tinkering with in the garage I thought.

“What chore do you hate the most?” he inquired.  I hated laundry and he knew I did.  Just yesterday, I had ranted about having to do the laundry this weekend – again.  You would think they would have created disposable clothing by now, I had fumed.

My husband pushed a remote in his hand and “Rosie” slid across the floor and stood before me.  “I am Rosie,” she said.  “I am your laundry fairy!”  He pushed another button on the remote control and off Rosie went to load the washing machine.  She seemed to know the difference between dark clothes, white clothes, and colored clothes, as she sorted nice round piles on the floor.

Rosie added the first load of dirty laundry, the washing liquid, and she even added the right amount of fabric softener to the washing machine.  She waited patiently while the machine cleaned the clothes.  At the end of the cycle, Rosie promptly removed that load and put it into the clothes dryer with a dryer sheet to prevent static cling.  She chose the correct setting and started the dryer.  At the end of the drying cycle Rosie folded and hung the clothes.  Then she put all of them away in the closet and in our dressers.

I was in ecstasy!  I finally had my laundry fairy!  Now, I could write my blog to my heart’s content and not be bothered with the laundry anymore.  And to think that my husband made this for me!  I told you he was a God, didn’t I?  Now what was that idea I had for my blog…