Help! I have been spammed with PORN!

My friend Rob, from the V-Pub (which stands for Virtual Pub), recently did a blog makeover. His intent was to create a pub like atmosphere where bloggers could stop in, share a joke, or a story, sometimes even a song, and just enjoy each other’s company.

I promised him that if he changed up his blog, I would write about all the interesting spam that I get in my WordPress messages and link it to his “Tid-bit Tuesday” posts where he talks about some of his interesting life experiences!

Let me begin with saying that the name of my blog is Silver Threading. I share my life as I journey into my retirement years. I am in the over 50 category in lifestyle blogging, so you can imagine my surprise when I started receiving spam that, well uh… made me blush! I am not old, or dead, but WOW!

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(Image credit: The Moose Store)

I am talking about: P O R N! Major porn! Not the blue movies we watched long ago as teenagers, in someone’s dark, smoky basement on shadowy movie screens. No, not that kind at all!

In fact, after serving in the U. S. Air Force I did not think there was too much that could make me blush! WRONG! I feel like the “Church Lady,” from old Saturday Night Live reruns right now telling you all about my spam problems.

What I found particularly funny about the whole spam issue is how it relates to my posts. For example, here is a Haiku that I wrote last summer called, “The Slough.” A slough is another word for a swamp, so I do not know what could prompt the correlation between the two.

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As darkness pervades –

frogs croak in deep song.

Life begins anew.

Now, this seems like a nice innocent poem about the swamp not far from where I live, right?

Here are some of the spam reply messages I received in reply to my haiku:

Fresh gay images- gay married men, gay pants, gay firemen, the gay test, mobile gay chat; Porn gay demeanor; Asian porn diary, Freeware gay porn; Porn blog locality: free adult sex, erotic graphic novels, erotic downloads, erotic parties, erotic content; lesbian sex, MILF’s and me, sexy grandmas, and last but not least, Latin she-males!

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(Image Credit: LoonPond)

I think the one that really got me worried was the “erotic downloads.” That just did not sound right at all! Gay pants were interesting too… I wonder what heterosexual pants look like in comparison? To this day, I continue to receive at least 5 to 10 spam messages attached to that post. Go figure?

Then, there was this, juicy tidbit I received recently, as a reply to my Writer’s Quote Wednesday post:

If this post was likened to a flavor of yogurt, what flavor would it be? Banana, I believe.” A link to a porn site accompanied the message. O.K. then, that was interesting… Wasn’t that special?

How about this one? Sometimes I do a Gratitude Sunday post where I talk about the things that I am grateful for in my life. Here is a spam reply I recently received:

Unlock Her Legs by Bobby Rio said: “This is really interesting. You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!”

Now, you have to admit that this stuff is funny! Although, I was worried that he shared my website in his social networks!

You can imagine my surprise when I received this message from my post called, “Parlor Maple Madness,” which was about a new bush I had planted in my backyard.

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I received a ton of spam called, “Hip release porn area, My gay pictures, and Latin She-males.” All these messages had links to where you could visit the sites. Maybe the word “bush,” caught their attention, I do not know. I still cannot figure out what a “hip release porn area is. Maybe that is something for the over 70 crowd with hip replacements. I never did find out.

Sexy grandmas

Actually, I learned a valuable lesson while writing this post. Whatever you do, do not type into Google, “cartoons of porn spam,” when you are looking for photos to add to your post! My laptop immediately imploded!

Oh, and by the way, this post was done with the best of humorous intentions.  I support all life styles by all individuals and my blog remains a safe haven for all individuals… except politicians!  No politics allowed!

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(Image Credit: Facebook: LGBT rights)

Have you checked your SPAM today?”

Thanks for stopping in to see what I have been up to.  I will talk to you again,

Silver Threading signature

SPAM Me Baby!

Today is Stream of Consciousness Saturday!  Linda’s prompt was to use:  “bat, bet, bit, bot, but.” Focus on one, use them all, or simply include one of these words in your post. It’s up to you!  I chose the word “bot.”

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I have had some great laughs this week with my friend Rob about the spam that he get’s on his blog, Weigh 2 Lose 2012.  He wrote a post about it here.  He suggested that I write about some of the spam I have received.  Thanks for the idea Rob.

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(Image credit: Spam)

I just had to share this hysterically funny “spam,” I received recently:

“A high level woman you must have a single body appearance. Is going to be most excellent construct, adult will require the customer by way of your self confidence and girls do imagine drawn to because of your captivating looks. Albeit numerous men desirable to produce an really whole a lot are undoubtedly all set to may dozens of vexing physical trainings was needed to grow their lean muscle mass. These grownup is normally hugely willing to fully grasp that the following is straight can surely have muscle and strength merely by swallowing an outstanding application identified Huge Muscle mass mass Contractor.”

Needless to say, I was really pleased to hear that I was considered a high level woman with a single body image!  All my weight loss efforts have finally paid off!  WOO HOO!

However, I was more shocked to learn that, “…by way of your self confidence and girls do imagine drawn to because of your captivating looks…”  WOW!  Now this has gotten creepy!

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(Image Credit: How To Manage Spam)

I did some math on the spam I receive in my WordPress account.  I usually get about 15 spam messages a day.  That is around 465 spam messages a month!  For a year that comes to over 5,580 spam messages that I have to delete out of my blog account.  That is time I sure wish I could use for writing.

Do you ever wonder what a spammer looks like?  Are they normal people sitting in front of their laptops drooling with excitement because they are sending out 100 billion spam messages a day?  I know there are programs or “bots” that target websites and bomb them with advertising, but how can the message I received be construed as advertising?

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(Image credit: Spammer)

If anyone has the answers to these pressing questions and why we cannot get rid of these spam messages forever,  please let me know.

Thanks for checking in with me today.  I have to go now and clean out all of spam messages!  I will see you soon!

Silver Threading